What Can I Tell You?

   So, I found a Blogger app on my iPhone, so when I get more motivated I can draw pictures there and post them here simultaneously, or just email them to myself so I can clean them up if necessary. I don't know.
   My first class is tomorrow evening! I'm excited. My mother is happy. I feel like this is going to work out well. Even if I don't make tons of new friends, I'll be on my way to getting a better job that I can actually do. Of course, as the end of my pregnancy approaches, I'm also apprehensive about the things I have to do after the baby is born. I won't go into detail though. I actually deleted my Tumblr posts talking more about the issues surrounding that whole deal.
   Something I will write about though: Recently, I've noted how I've changed. (Yes, I meant to say noted)
   Good changes, of course. At least, I think so. I check Facebook still with fair frequency, but it's mostly like checking sports scores or something. I don't feel very invested. It's like perusing the newspaper without reading the articles in depth.
   I can relate to the main character in Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere. I could try to go back to how things were before. Before I became pregnant, before I embraced feminism, and before I saw just how much crap I've endured. I could try, I could try very hard, but it would be like trying to fit into something that, no matter what you do, just doesn't fit anymore. I'm not sad about it. Perhaps I mourn some sort of loss inside of myself, some loss of innocence or something, but I know that with each death, be it true death or simply the death of one version of ourselves, we must move forward and embrace the future. I can't go back to who I was or the life I lived, and I don't want to. That person is gone. She can't come back. I'm excited about the future though. I'm excited about being a parent, even if it doesn't seem like it. I think once I realized my fears and anxieties, I find, while the fears are still there, I can handle them better.
   I'm starting to get a little distracted (darn Boy Meets World) so I shall end this post today. Maybe I'll post another later. I may take a nap.
   Let me just wrap up my initial thoughts: I feel like I've gone down this path, even though I sort of stumbled upon it without meaning to, and I'm finding while it was not my initial choice, I enjoy it and where it will take me. I think I've outgrown some of the people I consider friends though. Mainly in that we seem to want and care about different things. I suppose that's just the way life is.
   I can't wait for my baby to be born. I think for one of the very times (or possibly the very first time) I look forward to the future.