Relationships, in a word, suck. Lately, when I have time and the ability to focus (simultaneously) I've been reading this lovely book called Outdated which is a dating advice book written by a feminist. So far, I love it. It definitely takes all those patriarchal driven dating advice books that are oh-so-popular and sheds light where members of the dating world are often left, stumbling, in the dark. I highly recommend it for, oh, anyone.
Having only ended a relationship about a month and some change ago, it's really helped to find the articles and books that, while harsh, instantly make the things we feel and do that really made no sense suddenly make sense. I really don't want to go into too much detail, or rather I'm not going to go into detail about my previous relationship. It sucked, I hated how I felt during the course of it, and in the end I ended it. I don't regret the relationship (although there are times I wish I hadn't let things slide) since it taught me a lot of things and gave me some concrete evidence about things.
Currently, we live in a society (at least in the US that I am aware of) that celebrates relationships, or perhaps coerces relationships. I think the majority of the people I know are in relationships, some of which are not happy or would rather be unhappy in a relationship than dare to be single. We are taught that being single is completely synonymous with being alone, being a failure, being invisible, and so on. While I have often let things slide and ignored tell-tale red flags, I do believe that it's better to be single and love yourself than in a relationship that makes you feel like garbage. Relationships can be wonderful when there is mutual love and respect, but unfortunately due to socialized gender roles, internalized misogyny, and rape culture, sometimes we get those idiots that just don't get it. Not to mention the passive-aggressive, lazy, misinformed, and downright cruel-but-with-good-intent types.
I'm no expert, nor would I ever call myself one. I feel like I've observed enough to get a good idea where I myself need to grow and learn. I think one of my favorite occurrences is finding that person that feels like the perpetual victim. Those are fun.
Relationships are only as complicated as we make them out to be. Perhaps it's merely I look at things from this logical way, and with the combined fun of having complications in my head that I have to sift through daily like psychological white noise, I love order in my external endeavors. This is a fairly new thought, though. I was notorious for allowing the complications in my head to further complicate the world around me. Now I see that in the midst of chaos, order is ever-present and necessary. Perhaps this is why I enjoy math and science.
Anyway, I've lost my train of thought. Darn easily distracted brain.
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